How to Recruit Men for Children's Ministry

Your children's ministry volunteer team probably skews female. Here's how to intentionally recruit men into kids' ministry and keep them engaged.

If you've been in children's ministry for any length of time, you've noticed a pattern: most volunteer teams are predominantly female. It's similar to elementary and middle schools across America, where over 80% of teachers are women. In children's ministry, the ratio is often even more lopsided. At a recent Children's Pastors Conference in San Diego, when workshop attendees were asked how many men served on their volunteer teams, most reported numbers in the 5% to 15% range. One children's director said zero. Not a single man.

Before we go any further, let me make one thing crystal-clear: This is not about replacing women in children’s ministry. Women have carried children’s ministry since the dawn of time, and I’m sure incredible women will continue to be the bedrock of children’s ministry, and I’m deeply grateful for that. This is about inviting men to help carry the load, so kids see the full family of God serving together.

Because when boys and girls look around the room on Sunday morning and see very few men engaged, excited, and opening a Bible, it sends a message – one we probably don't intend to send.

This article is adapted from my recent conversation with Hannah Augustine on the KidzMatter Podcast (airing April 20), where we spent a full episode talking about how to get men involved in kids ministry. I want to share those same practical strategies here.

Recruiting Men For My Kids Church Team: My Over-Correction Story

When I started as Children's Pastor at Northwest Hills Community Church, our Kids Church volunteer team was only 8% male. The rest were amazing, dedicated women – but the gender imbalance was hard to miss, especially for the boys in the room.

I started intentionally recruiting men, and over time, our Kids Church volunteer team went from 8% male to 86% male.

Yes, you read that right. We over-corrected like crazy. Our Kids Church volunteer team had turned into a boy band.

Since then, we came back into balance. But that wild swing proved something important: you absolutely can get men serving in children's ministry if you're intentional about it. The men are out there. They're sitting in your church right now. They're just waiting to be asked the right way.

Why Boys (and Girls) Need Men in Children's Ministry

Before we get into the "how," let's talk about the "why" — because understanding why boys need men in children's ministry is what will fuel your recruiting conversations.

Consider the statistics: one out of every four children in America lives in a fatherless home. That's over 18 million kids. Many more have a dad in the home who is not spiritually engaged – a father who attends church because he lost a bet (or because his wife gave him a look that was worse than losing a bet) rather than because he's excited to worship and study God's Word.

When boys look around a room to figure out what they're supposed to do, they watch older males. If there are no adult men in your children's ministry, or if the adult men in the room look bored, stand in the back with their arms crossed, or are scrolling their phones, the elementary boys learn a clear lesson: participating in kids' church is not manly.

But flip that script. When there are men in the room and they are engaged – singing the worship songs, answering questions, getting excited about the lesson, doing the hands-on activities — the boys follow. It's that simple and that powerful.

Kids need to see that following Jesus is for everybody — not just for women, not just for pastors, but for regular guys who drive pickup trucks (or EV's), watch football (or play Settlers of Catan), and ALSO love studying the Bible. When kids see men serving in kids church with genuine excitement, it tells every boy and girl in that room that living for God is the best life possible, no matter who you are.

How to Get Men Involved in Kids Ministry (Hint: Stop the Cattle Call)

If you've ever Googled "how to recruit children's ministry volunteers," you've read the standard advice: pray, cast vision, and ask personally. That's all true. But when you're recruiting men specifically, there's one principle that matters above all others: be specific.

Don't stand on stage and say, "We need volunteers." Everybody hears that and assumes you mean someone more qualified, more available, and more into glue sticks and glitter. The general announcement goes in one ear, hits a wall of "that's probably not for me," and goes out the other. It's the church equivalent of shouting into the void.

Instead, go to a specific man and tell him a specific reason you think he'd be good for a specific role with a specific need. Something like:

That invitation is completely different from a vague stage announcement, because now Mike can picture exactly what he'd be doing and exactly how it meets a spiritual need — instead of picturing a terrifying volunteer abyss where he'll be surrounded by glitter, construction paper, and crying toddlers.

The most important thing is that the man you're asking knows you picked him for a reason. Not just because you were desperate. (Even if you were desperate. Especially if you were desperate.)

Recruit in Categories: Dads, Teens, Grandpas, and Everyone in Between

When you think about recruiting male volunteers for children's ministry, it's easy to default to "dads with kids in the program." Recruiting dads for children's ministry is a great starting point, but if you stop there, you're missing some of your best prospects.

Dads Whose Kids Have Aged Out

When leaders ask me how to get dads to volunteer at church, I always bring up this goldmine that most children's ministry leaders miss completely. Dads whose kids have moved on to student ministry suddenly have more free time, and many of them are genuinely happy to jump in and help with the younger kids. They already know the rhythms of kids' church. They already love the environment. They just needed someone to ask.

High School and College Guys

Teenagers and young adults can be incredibly effective in children's ministry. Some of the best volunteers I've ever had were high-schoolers who taught the large-group lesson with zero hesitation and absolutely nailed it. Don't rule out young men because of their age — give them the opportunity and you may be stunned at what happens.

Plus, tell a college student, "You can be the cool older-guy presence in the room – you can be a good example for the younger boys and help them engage in the lesson," and watch his chest puff up. You just gave him a reason to say yes. Every 22-year-old wants to be the "cool older guy" in the room.

Grandpas

Do not forget the grandfathers in your church. They have time, wisdom, and the patience to listen to a kid tell a 10-minute story that should have taken 45 seconds. Your recruiting pitch: "Your patience, steadiness, and life experience would be so valuable in our classroom — these kids really need calm, consistent, caring adults like you." That invitation costs you 15 seconds and might change a kid's life.

Recruit in Pairs or Groups

Here's a strategy that can change your recruiting success rate overnight: recruit men together. Ask a dad and his teenage son to serve as a team. Or a couple of college buddies. Or two guys from the same small group.

It is much easier to say yes when you're not saying yes alone. Men are pack animals. Use that. Every ask results in two great volunteers instead of one, and they hold each other accountable to actually show up.

How to Frame the Invitation So They Actually Want to Say Yes

Specificity gets you in the door. But framing is what closes the deal. You want the man you're recruiting to feel like his unique wiring is exactly what your ministry needs — because it is.

Match the Invitation to Their Interests

Let me give you an example. The Spyence Systematic Theology Curriculum — which I write — features Bible Lesson Intro Videos where a team of superheroes has to thwart an evil robot's plan each week, and in the process, one of the superheroes learns a Bible truth that leads right into the lesson. It's basically theology with explosions, but in a sanctified way.

So, you could go to a guy in your church and say: "We're starting this new curriculum with superheroes, and that's not really my thing, but you like superhero movies, don't you? I think you and the kids would really bond over these videos and these lessons. Would you help in kids' church for the next six weeks?"

He's going to say yes, because you just told him his nerdy fanboy hobby is a spiritual gift. Take it from a fellow nerdy fanboy — you can't turn down that invite.

Notice the pattern in both examples: you acknowledged their strength, connected it to a real need, and gave them a defined time commitment ("the next six weeks"). That last part matters. Six weeks? That sounds manageable. "Forever" is a different story altogether.

The Six-Week On-Ramp

This is worth calling out separately. Asking someone to commit to six weeks instead of "indefinitely" removes the biggest psychological barrier. After six weeks, most men who had a good experience will say yes to six more. And then six more. Before they know it, they've been serving for two years and they love it. But it started with a manageable ask.

The Best Roles for Male Volunteers in Children's Ministry

What should men actually do once they say yes? That depends on the person, but here are starting points that tend to work well for guys who are brand new.

Help lead games. This is the lowest-barrier entry point for most men. No lesson prep, no theological expertise required — just show up and be energetic. Many men thrive here immediately.

Run tech. Sound, slides, video playback — men who love gadgets are drawn to this, and it's a genuine need in most children's ministry environments.

Sit with the older boys and model engagement. This sounds simple, but it might be the most powerful role on this list. A man who sits in the row with the fourth- and fifth-grade boys and actually sings the worship songs, raises his hand to answer questions, and participates in the activities? That man is discipling boys just by being present and engaged. The lead teacher will love him forever. And if you've been struggling with engaging 5th grade boys in kids church, a male volunteer in the room often solves the problem faster than anything else.

Lead or co-lead a small group. For men with a little more confidence, small-group leadership is a fantastic fit — especially boys' small groups, where the need for male role models is acute.

Help run the hands-on activities or experiments. If your curriculum includes object lessons, science experiments, or interactive elements, men often gravitate toward these. It's active, it's tangible, and it doesn't require them to stand up and "teach" before they're ready.

And Then There's the Creative Stuff

Men often stay longer in children's ministry when you let them serve using their own strengths — even when those strengths take you off-script.

At our church, a male volunteer once asked, "Can I take some kids out behind the church by the creek and throw a football with them during our 15 minutes of welcome time?"

My first thought was: "Behind the church? By the creek? That sounds like an accident report waiting to happen."

But I held my tongue and thought, "What's more positive-male-role-model-y than throwing a football with some kids by the creek and then coming in to study the Bible together?" So I said, "Sure, just be safe."

That became a Sunday morning tradition for a group of kids and this leader. Lives were changed. And I'm happy to report: no one ever fell in the creek. Win-win.

We had another guy who loved taking apart old radios and microwaves with kids, which sounds like the beginning of either a great object lesson or a church insurance claim. But the kids loved it. And that volunteer became a legend.

How to Keep Male Volunteers Once You've Got Them

Recruiting men for children's ministry is only half the battle. Encouraging men to serve in kids ministry long-term is where a lot of churches win big or lose big. Once a man says yes to volunteering, he typically needs two things right away: encouragement and freedom. Get these two right, and you'll get more and more male volunteers. Get them wrong, and forget it.

Encouragement (Men Are More Insecure Than You Think)

This one is for the ladies out there: when it comes to working with kids, men are more insecure than you think.

I know. Shocking. We will confidently attempt home repairs we are clearly not qualified for — including plumbing jobs that result in calling an actual plumber and pretending we "just wanted a second opinion" — but we walk into a children's ministry classroom and suddenly become very unsure of ourselves.

Here's what most female leaders don't realize: a lot of men are genuinely afraid to serve in children's ministry. They assume women are naturally better with kids and are terrified of looking stupid or doing it wrong. So when a man serves for the first time, tell him he did a great job before the class is even over. Tell him again afterward. Tell him specifically what he did well.

Build confidence early, because confident volunteers keep coming back. Insecure volunteers suddenly have "a lot going on right now" for the next eight years.

Freedom (Let Them Be Themselves)

I don't mean freedom to break safety rules or ignore leadership. I mean freedom to do things in a way that feels natural and authentic to them. If a guy wants to connect with boys by tossing a football before class, or by turning a Bible review into an extreme sports challenge, be open-minded.

Here's a hot tip: if "but we've never done it that way" is about to leave your mouth, swallow it and evaluate. Is the idea actually bad? Or is it just different from how you'd do it? Sometimes different is exactly what your ministry needs. And if the idea does go horribly wrong — well, that's children's ministry in a nutshell: trying new things that are either wildly successful or hilarious stories you'll laugh about for years.

Cut the Unnecessary Barriers

If serving in your children's ministry requires too many meetings or too many unclear steps, you will lose men before they start. We found it incredibly helpful to simplify the onboarding process and replace drawn-out group training meetings with short one-on-one training.

Turns out, men would rather do ministry than attend a two-hour meeting about someday doing ministry. Simplify the on-ramp. Get them in the room. Train as you go.

A Curriculum That Makes Recruiting Men Easier

One of the reasons I created the Spyence curriculum was to build a children's ministry curriculum that men are genuinely excited to teach. When your curriculum features superheroes thwarting evil robots, hands-on children's ministry activities like real science experiments every week, and theology taught through spy missions and secret codewords, the recruiting conversation practically writes itself.

You're not asking a guy to come help with crafts. You're asking him to help kids learn what "justification" means while watching the Shark-Rat Super-Sisters stop an evil robot from stealing secret plans from the Secret Plans Computer Room. Because that's a real thing in our curriculum. And it's very fun to say out loud.

Here's the bottom line: an engaging children's ministry curriculum makes recruiting men dramatically easier, and a volunteer-friendly kids ministry curriculum keeps them coming back. When men want to be in the room — and can walk in with five minutes of prep and teach confidently — you stop begging for volunteers and start building a team.

This Is Not About Replacing Women

Let me repeat this to avoid any misunderstanding: none of this is about replacing women in children's ministry. Women have always done the heavy lifting in children's ministry. I'm deeply grateful for that, and nothing in this article should diminish the extraordinary work women do every single week.

This is about inviting men to help carry the load and do their part. When boys and girls look around and see regular men serving with joy — opening the Bible, praying, listening, and showing up consistently — it tells them something profound: following Jesus is the best life possible, no matter who you are.

Your One-Step Challenge This Week

If you've made it this far, here's my challenge: pick one guy to ask this week.

Not "think about asking." Not "mention it to your senior pastor." Not "add it to next quarter's strategic plan." This week, identify one specific man, one specific reason you're asking him, and one specific role you want him to fill. And then actually go ask him.

One conversation. One invitation. One man who might change a kid's life.

That's how it starts.

This article is adapted from Curt Nelson's conversation with Hannah Augustine on the KidzMatter Podcast, airing April 20. Curt is the creator of Spyence Curriculum, where gospel-centered systematic theology collides with laughter, science experiments, spy-themed storytelling, and the occasional evil robot trying to ruin everyone's day.

FAQ: Recruiting Men for Children's Ministry